If I was perfect…..

If I was perfect,
I would be the perfect weight, size, height, age, and certainly not have gray hair.

If I was perfect,
I would have achieved straight As throughout my entire school career.

If I was perfect,
I would know what everyone was thinking and be able to help everyone I met.
 

I would never have
spilled the milk, yelled at my students, deleted that email, or let that dream go.

 

 

Though no one is perfect, some of us often try to be. It’s not a “god complex”, but rather an urge born through the desire to improve the world. I know, a lofty goal. Many gifted people see the injustices in the world and jump on the bandwagon to right the wrongs. After all, we feel pretty powerful and if we were perfect we could do it.

Unfortunately, that perfectionism doesn’t come with rocket boots, super-powered arms, tons of free time, and a fat bank account. It comes with a lot of heartache.

We’ll never be able to do enough.

 

 

If I was perfect,
education would be a dream….for all children.

If I was perfect,
I would be able to procure gifted services for my child on a dime.

If I was perfect,
people would understand why giftedness is just so darn different.
 

I would have found the perfect school to teach in, been the perfect parent, written more blog posts, and committed myself not only to my job or family, but to both and at all times.

 

 

Others are satisfied to live their lives and actually realize that often they can’t make the impact they desire. Maybe they believe they’re not smart enough, strong enough, rich enough, or it’s not for someone like them. Maybe they believe they lack the power. Some do, some don’t and that’s okay. Then, there are the perfectionistic gifted ones.

Gifted people aren’t narcissistic. We believe we were given a mission. We struggle to identify the mission, throw ourselves into fulfilling our mission, and weep if we don’t eradicate cancer, end world poverty, or fix education. After all, we can see the answers so clearly.

The problem is that we aren’t perfect.

 

 

Often, I’d comment on teacher days at school that I could get so much more accomplished when the kids weren’t there. I could keep a cleaner house, if I didn’t have children. I’d be able to write more often, if I had the time. I’d open that gifted school if there weren’t so many regulations and so little money.

Life gets in the way.

Life gives opportunities and takes others away. But one thing is for sure- it will never be perfect.

I will never be perfect.

Facing that fact feels like a defeat, though it should be a liberation.

 

 

Like James T. Webb refers to rippling in his book Searching for Meaning: Idealism, Bright Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope, sometimes we have to be satisfied with our influence on others. I’ll keep supporting others and doing what I can do on my own to not be perfect, but to be my best self.

 

If I were perfect, you’d know exactly what I mean.

 

 

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